I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
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No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
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I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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