I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize