I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm sobbing to NWA
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize