I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize