I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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