PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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