apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What a dumb baby whore.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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