just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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