I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We had to coat check the pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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