WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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