i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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