Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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