Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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