Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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