living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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