8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
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you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
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Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I see more hoeing in ur future
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