Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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