There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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