don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize