so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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