is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize