We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize