His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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