Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize