dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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