Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize