Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize