Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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