I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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