You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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