I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
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I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Did I show you my penis last night?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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