I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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