so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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