i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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