It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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