I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
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I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
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Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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