my phone needs a breathalizer
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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