I just saw a hot homeless man
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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