i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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