a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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