2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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