Texts From Last Night

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  (209): View more from California

  this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.

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  (209): this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not. http://tfl.nu/74g7
  Replies (27) Good night (9384) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.

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  (979): What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls. http://tfl.nu/5u5z
  Replies (23) Good night (784) Bad night (5174) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.

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  (248): so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse. http://tfl.nu/dgcu
  Replies (12) Good night (608) Bad night (3212) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"

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  (617): it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast" http://tfl.nu/sn1x
  Replies (11) Good night (1865) Bad night (2937) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....

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  (940): I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk.... http://tfl.nu/3fzx
  Replies (18) Good night (2759) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.

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  (239): MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned. http://tfl.nu/x1yo
  Replies (6) Good night (1119) Bad night (2478) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.

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  (518): I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am. http://tfl.nu/mzmv
  Replies (10) Good night (2997) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.

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  (+44): I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers. http://tfl.nu/28px
  Replies (4) Good night (1167) Bad night (341)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.

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  (352): She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later. http://tfl.nu/9nzg
  Replies (1) Good night (1168) Bad night (617)
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  (626): View more from California

  I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.

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  (626): I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing. http://tfl.nu/hf05
  Replies (2) Good night (993) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I want to have sex with him.

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  (703): I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress. (703): I want to have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/1wj3
  Replies (5) Good night (1210) Bad night (439)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.

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  (603): pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning. http://tfl.nu/ar70
  Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (1095)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.

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  (515): Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind. http://tfl.nu/1wyd
  Replies (9) Good night (1571) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.

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  (626): My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza. http://tfl.nu/x0uu
  Replies (7) Good night (684) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER

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  (434): THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER http://tfl.nu/7inm
  Replies (8) Good night (797) Bad night (337) Order T-Shirt

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