Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.

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(678): Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house. http://tfl.nu/flvn

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.

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(401): Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends. http://tfl.nu/34is

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(704): View more from North Carolina

is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?

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(704): is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell? http://tfl.nu/12z5

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(303): View more from Colorado

Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.

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(303): Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart. http://tfl.nu/j609

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(817): View more from Texas

Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day

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(817): Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day http://tfl.nu/cyg4

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(404): View more from Georgia

They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.

(618): View more from Illinois

Disappointment?

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(404): They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces. (618): Disappointment? http://tfl.nu/lu72

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(416): View more from Toronto

i flashed his best friends last night

(1-416): View more from Toronto

you always were good at making good first impressions

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(416): i flashed his best friends last night (1-416): you always were good at making good first impressions http://tfl.nu/b564

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(513): View more from Ohio

wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?

(1-513): View more from Ohio

how could i say no?

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(513): wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka? (1-513): how could i say no? http://tfl.nu/1o9r

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(727): View more from Florida

the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick

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(727): the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick http://tfl.nu/3g66

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(513): View more from Ohio

The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.

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(513): The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk. http://tfl.nu/ersv

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(316): View more from Kansas

Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.

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(316): Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all. http://tfl.nu/i7x5

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(641): View more from Iowa

yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.

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(641): yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors. http://tfl.nu/lgo5

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(303): View more from Colorado

Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.

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(303): Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night? (1-303): Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts. http://tfl.nu/jufi

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(250): View more from British Columbia

You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.

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(250): You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians. http://tfl.nu/wcxi

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(850): View more from Florida

My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco

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(850): My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco http://tfl.nu/szsc

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