Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize