I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dignity is for republicans.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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