Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
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He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
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I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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