I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
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no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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