peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize