Rock
Scissors
Fuck
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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