you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize